"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured"

Well now that this is about the time people start giving up on their New Year's resolutions, here I am finally starting one of them! (Haha, just kidding, don't give up!) I think the last time I did a blog post was when Daren was 4 months (yikes!), and although I was getting down on myself for not documenting better, I just had to keep reminding myself it's never too late to get back up and start again! I'm feeling better already...ahhh...

It's funny how communication and releasing the thoughts in our minds really give us a sense of trust to those we share with, and increased motivation to continue improving. I think that's why I still have a facebook, blog, personal journal...and a husband! Thankfully I also have God, my Father in Heaven, who I can communicate with through prayer, and is the ultimate source of peace and guidance. I always try to have a prayer in my heart, to spend my time wisely throughout the day, and recently, it's been difficult. For the past couple of weeks, I haven't had the motivation to get off my butt/computer and take care of the house; dishes have been piling up, the kitchen floors have been building up with days upon days worth of Daren's food he hasn't felt like eating, our bedrooms have been covered in clothes, and the living room has been needing a lot of lovin' from the vacuum. The dirtier it's become, the more overwhelmed I've felt and my energy has been sucked dry--without actually doing anything! This is the sad but honest truth, my house is a DUMP AND A HALF (ok, it probably could be worse)! I'm not at all embarrassed to share this, since I'm sure I'm not the only one, and it's kind of exhilarating to proclaim--I'M NOT PERFECT!! Plus, I've already started today by scrubbing every inch of that kitchen floor on my hands and knees--WHOOP WHOOP!! If that didn't teach me to sweep after every meal and mop every other day, I don't know what will!

I think this crazy little "funk" I've been in can be at least somewhat attributed to Daren's improvement in mobility and mischief. Daren started walking at 10 months (he turned a year old three weeks ago--post about his birthday coming next), but the better he's become at it, the better he is at getting into everything and being more decisive and divisive. I was pretty good at first, I did the dishes at least every other day or as they got dirtied, swept a couple times per day, mopped once a week, put away at least my own clothes at night instead of throwing them on the floor, and vacuumed the living room at least every other Saturday. Then, the messes started becoming almost twice as big in half the time, and I was not used to cleaning so often! Unfortunately for me, my wonderful husband doesn't really have the time/energy to help out around the house either, because he manages his own house of two women with mental handicaps, so he definitely gets his fair share of stress and chores from that. Needless to say, I felt very overwhelmed and didn't want to face what I needed to do! Finally, last night I opened up to my friends and husband, who didn't really have to say much, because just talking about it made me feel normal again. And this morning, my morale improved ten fold simply by praying, studying my scriptures and exercising. After that, I got to work and even had the energy to go above and beyond like I used to before I got pregnant.

I realize now that all the matters I was so overwhelmed with aren't worth all the stress and care--most things usually aren't (especially when looking at what matters in an eternal perspective, which I believe in). It is good to keep the house tidy daily, but if it doesn't happen for whatever reason, just jump right back into it like it's not a big deal. One of the key things I've learned through this experience is: don't over think, just do it--you'll always be happier when you do! It's not always easy to, but these are the things that help me the most: making sure I go to bed early enough to wake up and study scriptures at least 30 minutes before our kiddo wakes up; praying in the morning, throughout the day and at night; exercising; spending time with family/friends; making tasks enjoyable (i.e. watch Hulu while doing dishes or laundry, listening to music); and rejoicing in any amount of progress, no matter how small. (What else helps for you? Comment below, I'd love to hear!) If stress does start building up, don't let it get worse! Talk about it before that pent up stress and anger becomes damaging. I'm so grateful for my family and friends for always being there for me, and that I didn't let my own stress get worse than it was--and hopefully it never happens again! Life will always present us with change and challenge, sometimes more than others, but don't get caught up in the tides! Simply find joy in the simple things, be patient with yourself and enjoy life as it comes.